15 More Minutes.

Did You Lose the Passion?

If you've ever had something to wake up to and work at every day for hours straight - something that makes you feel so purposeful, something that makes you say "one more thing," "15 more minutes," but each time you check your watch, an hour and a half goes by that truly feels like 5 minutes, something that you forget to eat over, something that makes morning turn into night freakishly fast, something that would feel like work for other people but feels like play for you - you should hold on to it. It'll be your creation, your interplay with the world, and that is special.

Now, what about when, after some amount of time, you wake up and you don't feel that passion anymore - you do not feel that purpose anymore? Does that mean you've lost your touch? Does that mean this work isn't for you anymore?

Not necessarily.

Maybe it means you fell out of love with it. For me, that was soccer when I was 10 years old. Previously, I loved soccer and Cristiano Ronaldo, the play-by-play analysis, learning new skills, new ways to juggle, new ways to hit the ball - then I lost the passion. I felt guilty about losing it, but I knew I shouldn't hold on to it just because I'd invested a lot of time and/or money in it (the sunk cost fallacy).

Then I tried tennis - wasn't for me. I tried so many things in that physical realm. [1] But I also got caught up scrolling on my phone - distraction, distraction, the bright thing in the window. If you're caught up in automated tasks over and over and over again, that can drown out your willingness to try new things. In that case, don't drown in instant-gratification activities, but remove all distractions and reflect on what you are meant to do.

But then I got into Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) and surfing. These are my things. This example from childhood is as significant as any other. That childish, feverish creativity and curiosity never needed to end.

So, after you've questioned if you truly lost the passion, what if you know you want to do this? You know you should - it's your thing - but then why don't you want to right now? What should you do?

This reflects the Emotional Cycle of Change (made by Don Kelley and Daryl Conner), which describes the predictable psychological stages people go through when taking on a new challenge, moving from naive initial excitement to a low point of struggle before building authentic confidence and achieving success. As you take on endeavors, you don't just stop being a beginner - you become a beginner at more and more advanced sub-skills in your field.

For instance, in surfing, you start by catching your first unbroken wave and taking it straight to the shore. You're no longer a complete beginner at taking a wave straight to the shore. But then you pick a direction and surf down the face of the wave for the first time. Once you can do that consistently, you're no longer a beginner at that. Then you start learning how to do your turns - going to the bottom of the wave, doing your bottom turn up the wave and back, generating speed, staying on the face. You become a beginner again. Once you master all that, you can go into a completely new dimension of surfing, such as learning how to do airs or, on a completely other note, learning how to surf backside - going the other way. Then you become a beginner in that facet.

It's a never-ending thing that all culminates in one fulfilling experience, because obtaining mastery - or a certain level of proficiency - in whatever you do is one of the most truly gratifying feelings.

Notes

[1] Having something physical to do is important, and so is not being a one-dimensional person. It's so important because being well-rounded is what's going to help you reach your best and create a good life overall.